I should be sponsored by Trojan
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize