...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
She needs sedatives and a leash
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
