You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
50% drunk capacity currently
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
