I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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