He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
