you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
