i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Randomize
