i already hear my dad disowning me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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