I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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