K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
its liver damage thursday
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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