Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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