No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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