Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
