So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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