To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
