i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize