so explain again why im purple
no
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
