Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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