i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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