Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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