I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
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