So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
