Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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