I wannas sexs uuuuu
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
