if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
