Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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