Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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