what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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