I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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