I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
