you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
