Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
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Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
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I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize