The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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