Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
