i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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