i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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