i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
