Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
