We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
