So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
