Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
