I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
