I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
