Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize