It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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