Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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