My liver just broke up with me...
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize