sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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