he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
my being single is dangerous.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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