brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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