I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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