I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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