It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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