i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
This house was built for laser tag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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