i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I wear drunk well.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
