i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
