i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
