she smelled like a LAN party
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
