Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I party with great urgency now.
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