Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
