She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
