omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
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